Best Dog T-Shirt

Best Dog T-shirt.

After my dog Winston died, I wrote a poem that got turned into a song. And then it became a video. Some folks have even played this tune and liked it on YouTube. About this time, I also made a “Dogs Rule” t-shirt inspired by a tattoo that my son Kevin has on his chest. The t-shirt costs around $20 and if you are interested, here is the link for the Dogs Rule t-shirt.

dogs rule t-shirt

Back to my song.  Written for dog lovers, it’s called “Wait for You”.

 

Step Aside Coffee, t-shirt for women                        I don’t like to be difficult t-shirt

Best Dog Joke

My neighbor is a single and VERY attractive young lady. She lives across the street from me and I can actually see her house from my living room window. I watched as she got home from work this evening.  She was wearing black fishnets, heels and a mini-skirt with a white, low-top blouse.I was surprised when she made her way across the street and stepped up my driveway. She knocked on my door, so I rushed to open it. She looked at me with her lovely brown eyes, and said, “I’m sorry to bother you, and it’s kind of embarrassing. But I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure, anything” I said.

She smiled seductively. “I’ve had a cocktail at work, just got home, and I am so damn horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?” Stunned, I could barely get the words out. I immediately replied, “Tonight? Nope, I am COMPLETELY free… I have no plans at all!” Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?”

my dog Winston

 

Next: Why real estate agents should buy a book to give away

Quotes

Ever notice that people who want to share their religious views with YOU almost NEVER want you to share YOURS with them? Why is that?

In any case… here are 5 inspirational quotes to help you out – even if you are religious.

“Success isn’t something that you do on the outside, success is something that you are on the inside. The rest will follow.” ~Chuck Danes

“Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem. Expect abundance on every level.” ~Eileen Caddy

“For the prosperous, it’s not about getting more stuff. It’s about having the freedom to make almost any decision you want.” ~T. Harv Eker

“You enhance your chances for success when you understand that your yearning power is more important than your earning power.” ~Zig Ziglar

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ~Thomas Edison

Know someone who could use a little extra inspiration and encouragement today? Send them over here!  And if you are NOT needing inspiration, here are some of MY own quotes.

“It’s just a matter of time before they add the word “Syndrome” after my last name.” – Bob Boog

“Behind every successful man is a woman… muttering and shaking her head in disbelief at something stupid he’s just done.” — Bob Boog

“Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.” — Bob Boog

Karate is a good skill to have just in case you’re ever attacked by a stack of boards.” Bob Boog

I’m not an asshole, but I do play one at Starbucks.” -Bob Boog

Jokes




vegan joke by bob boog

 

Joke 1: You Know You’re a Redneck Jedi Warrior if:

You hear “Luke, I am your father… and your uncle…”

You ever said the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.


You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”

latte joke

Joke 2: Jack Schitt

In Canada, Miles Davis is known as “Kilometers Davis” but for some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? Is he for real?

In fact, we often find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in a totally intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had
one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted
to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were
Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the
world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt’ you can correct them.

Your friend,
Crock O. Schitt

———————-

Joke 3: Condoms

I bought some extra sensitive condoms today. I put one on and I started feeling really emotional.

——————

Joke: 4: Women

Women are like bacon:
they look good, they smell good, they taste good…and they will slowly kill you.

———————–

Joke 5: Shakespeare

For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy’s.

—–